Morning Calls and Formal Visits: Socializing in the Regency Era from English Historical Fiction Authors..

English Historical Fiction Authors: Morning Calls and Formal Visits. Great blog article by Maria Grace.

In the 1800s, the moneyed minority in any local was expected mix
socially with one another, whether or not they were personally agreeable
to one another. In general, people only mixed socially within their own
social class, so the company could become confined and unvarying
quickly. Hence, new families of the right social standing would quickly
be paid an obligatory visit by their neighbors in order to initiate an
acquaintance and effectively broaden the social circle.

Until a formal acquaintance was recognized, members of the families
could not socialize with one another. Established members of the
neighborhood would take it upon themselves to call upon the new comers.
Only men called upon men, women did not initiate the relationship
themselves. Once the man of the house performed introductions for the
women in his household, they could interact socially and even introduce
the newcomers to others.



Commonly the social inferior was introduced to the superior, and men to
women, rather than the reverse. Unlike in town, where one had to wait
for the call of a superior, in the country it was acceptable for a man
to make a call or leave a card with someone of higher social standing if
that person was new to the neighborhood. Acceptance by those above
one’s social status was a key to social mobility in Regency society, so
such acquaintances were highly sought after.



Social connections were usually formed through a series of meetings,
usually beginning with morning calls to the homes of those in
fashionable society.



Calling cards



Morning calls or visiting upon a household had an established protocol.
Those who failed to follow it risked being shunned. First a calling card
was presented to the household’s servant.

Calling cards became popular at the end of the 18th century and bore the
visitor's name, title and residence. Their purpose was to prevent
errors by forgetful servants. After all, one could not trust one’s
social future to a mere servant’s memory.



One would generally leave not a single card, but three: one from the
lady for the house’s mistress; one from the gentleman for the house’s
mistress and another for the house’s master. Calling cards were
displayed on special trays often set up on the front hallways, visible
to all who came into the house. Cards from high ranking individuals and
titled folks gave additional status to the household displaying their
cards.

If one came without a card, he or she might be snubbed. When a servant
received the cards, they would be conveyed to the mistress who would
then decide whether to admit or reject the caller. If the servant
informed the caller that the mistress was 'not at home', this was code
for not wishing to make the acquaintance. On the other hand, if a
reciprocal card was formally presented to the visitor, this indicated
there was a chance for the relationship to develop.



If one was uncertain as to the reception one might receive, the safest
course would be to leave his or her card without asking if the mistress
was at home. This would oblige her to reciprocate the call the next day,
if only by leaving her own card. Failure to do so was a rebuff, but
certainly a less painful one that being rejected at the door.



Formal calls



There were several other types of 'visits in form', calls considered a
duty rather than a pleasure. Duty visits were hard to evade as a decent
level of social exchange was expected and individuals could be rebuked
for their inattentiveness. These duty visits included calls to
acknowledge hospitality, the newly-married, childbirth, bereavement and
those in straitened circumstances.



Calls for condolence and congratulations were typically made about a
week after the event. Ceremonial visits to acknowledge parties, balls
and other invitations were paid sooner, a day after a ball, within two
days of a dinner party and within a week of a small party. These calls
would be paid later in the day than ‘morning calls,’ typically between
three and four in the afternoon.



Wedding visits were rigorously observed, extending a month or two after
the marriage. The neighbors of gentry status would call on the couple in
their own home. Then the visits would be returned and possibly one or
more parties held in the couple’s honor.



Calls to the bereaved and suffering were part of the duties of an
estate’s mistress. It was up to her to look after her less fortunate
neighbors a personal visit every week or two. On such visits she might
deliver food and medicinal preparations made in her own kitchen and
still room, give advice, and lend an ear to their complaints. These
visits were often the only support system for the indigent in the
neighborhood.



Morning visits

Less formal visits, morning calls were actually paid between the time of
rising and that of eating dinner, effectively between eleven in the
morning and three in the afternoon. Earlier calls might interfere with
breakfast or a lady’s morning household duties. Later visits might
suggest indecorous attempts at securing an invitation for dinner. The
earlier in the day, the less close the acquaintance, the later the
greater degree of intimacy between the parties.



Morning visits were expected to last for at least fifteen minutes, but
certainly not more than half an hour. Callers were received by men in
their business room or library. Women took calls the morning room or in
their drawing-room. Pets and children, both regarded as potentially
destructive and annoying, were not welcome on morning calls.



What to do during a visit?



The heart of polite sociability was conversation. The whole purpose of
conversation was to please other people and to be deemed pleasing. In
general, conversation was tightly controlled by rules of etiquette as
well. The list of unacceptable topics far outnumbered the acceptable
ones.



Politeness demanded a visitor inquire after the health of absent members of the household.

Similarly, polite individuals did not ask direct personal questions of
recent acquaintances. To question or even compliment anyone else on the
details of their dress might also be regarded as impertinent. Personal
remarks, however flattering, were not considered good manners. Etiquette
manuals counseled such comments should be exchanged only with close
family and intimate friends.



Unsurprisingly, scandal and gossip should be omitted from public
conversation. Any references to pregnancy, childbirth, or other natural
bodily functions were considered coarse and carefully sidestepped. A man
could sometimes discuss his hunters or driving horses in the presence
of ladies though it was generally discouraged. Greater latitudes of
conversation were allowed when the genders were segregated, particularly
for the men.



In order to take advantage of afternoon light, women would continue
their needlework during a call. Sometimes visitors brought their own
work or the hostess would offer her visitors pieces to work on. It was
considered more genteel to continue with one's 'fancywork' rather than
'plain' shirt-making or mending.



References



A Lady of Distinction - Regency Etiquette, the Mirror of Graces (1811). R.L. Shep Publications (1997)

Banfield ,Edwin -Visiting Cards and Cases, Baros Books, Wiltshire, (1989).

Black, Maggie & Le Faye, Deirdre - The Jane Austen Cookbook. Chicago Review Press (1995)

Byrne, Paula - Contrib. to Jane Austen in Context. Cambridge University Press (2005)

Day, Malcom - Voices from the World of Jane Austen. David & Charles (2006)

Downing, Sarah Jane - Fashion in the Time of Jane Austen. Shire Publications (2010)

Hughes, Kristine- The Writer's Guide to Everyday Life in Regency and Victorian England From 1811-1901, Writer's Digest Books, Cincinnati, (1998).

Jones, Hazel - Jane Austen & Marriage. Continuum Books (2009)

Lane, Maggie - Jane Austen's World. Carlton Books (2005)

Lane, Maggie - Jane Austen and Food. Hambledon (1995)

Laudermilk, Sharon & Hamlin, Teresa L. - The Regency Companion. Garland Publishing (1989)

Le Faye, Deirdre - Jane Austen: The World of Her Novels. Harry N. Abrams (2002)

Pool, Daniel- What Jane Austen Ate and Charles Dickens Knew, Simon & Schuster, New York, (1993).

Randall, Rona- The Model Wife Nineteenth-Century Style, The Herbert Press, London, (1989).

Ray, Joan Klingel - Jane Austen for Dummies. Wiley Publishing, Inc. (2006)

Ross, Josephine - Jane Austen's Guide to Good Manners. Bloomsbury USA (2006)

Selwyn, David - Jane Austen & Leisure. The Hambledon Press (1999)

Trusler, John - The Honours of the Table or Rules for Behavior During Meals. Literary-Press (1791)

Vickery, Amanda - The Gentleman's Daughter. Yale University Press (1998)

Though Maria Grace has been writing fiction since she was ten years old,
those early efforts happily reside in a file drawer and are unlikely to
see the light of day again, for which many are grateful.



She has one husband, two graduate degrees and two black belts, three
sons, four undergraduate majors, five nieces, six cats, seven
Regency-era fiction projects and notes for eight more writing projects
in progress. To round out the list, she cooks for nine in order to
accommodate the growing boys and usually makes ten meals at a time so
she only cooks twice a month.



She can be contacted at:

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